After the incident, I encouraged her to just feel her grief and let the tears flow instead of trapping it all in, which could cause greater suffering. Similarly, when a friend is in pain, I personally find it helpful to tell them that it's okay to be feeling this way to let them process the emotions. One of my close friends recently lost a pet that she had for seven years. While it may be painful, it allows them to develop a shared sense of humanity. One personal example from Brown that resonated with me was her showing her kids how to sit with discomfort when they experience suffering. When done right, it can have a transformative impact on how we connect with others, according to Brown. Thoughtful language is instrumental in helping us understand and communicate our emotions. In her book, a few graphic comics emphasize examples of meaningful connection alongside 'narrative tap-out,' which is when we shut people down instead of listening to them. Now, when forming new relationships, I always ask myself, 'Am I being present without sacrificing who I am?' to cultivate a sense of belonging. By openly admitting my lack of knowledge, I'm paving the way for learning and improving my understanding.

Brown encourages us to embrace experiences that may be uncomfortable - in my case, it can be speaking up when I don't understand something in a group project instead of silently trying to figure it out on my own.Īfter reading this book, I've realized that vulnerability is not my weakness, but rather my greatest measure of courage. Sometimes, we may feel embarrassed or ashamed of certain feelings, which makes it harder to truly connect with others. It made me realize that I've been in social settings where I felt like I was fitting in (participating in an activity just because everyone else was doing it) which only made me more disconnected from myself and the group. One thing I really related to was when Brown addressed the difference between belonging and just fitting in.Īccording to Brown, true belonging is only felt when we have the courage to share our most authentic selves with other people.

Atlas of the heart brene brown